Thanks Asshole!

I have a bit of a trust issue.  Let me clarify.  I do not have trust issues with The Hubby.  We do not lie to each other or keep things from each other… EVER.  I trust him with everything I have and know that he feels that same way.  It’s a trust built upon over the last 16+ years. 

I have trouble putting trust in others.  I have issues with trusting friends and even some family.  I’ve been screwed over enough times to know better these days. I learned that even your very best friend will gossip about your private and personal feelings without thinking twice and laugh behind your back.  That people will pretend to be your friend only because they want something from you.  That some people will say anything to get what they want.  It’s a fact of life and it sucks.

These trust issues do not come up often in swinging.  Mainly because the nature of our relationship with other swingers revolves around sex.  We have fun together, talk about the things we have in common but don’t often get into personal aspects of everyone’s lives.  The talk is usually just general talk… if that makes sense.

We play with one couple often enough and have known them long enough for us to consider them our friends.  The wife and I have lunch a couple of times a month and hang out for shopping and girl stuff.  I like them as people.  In the world of swinging you find that you have people in common with other swingers… people you have both played with.  I’d like to think that there is a swinger’s code of conduct that says you don’t discuss those people you have in common (or at least don’t put the specifics with the person), but I’ve learned that this isn’t the case.

The male half of this couple betrayed my trust.  He told very specific things about me – naming me – to others and I found out about it.  Man, it doesn’t feel good.  It hurt my feelings.  It made The Hubby livid!  He immediately wanted to defend me, but I’ve asked him not to.  He knows me and knows the truth.  He was there.  At the end of the day, I don’t care what any of these people think about me.  They do not define who I am.  Sometimes it is better just to walk away. 

I know at some point I will have to confront him about what he said.  I’m not looking forward to it.  I hate conflict and drama.  I hope that when the time comes, the conversation will be very “matter-of-fact”.  I don’t want to show any emotion or anger.  I don’t want him to know that he upset me.  I just hope that when I walk away he feels like the asshole he made him self out to be.

Maybe I should draft the Swinger’s Code of Conduct!  😉

Have you run into a similar situation?  How did you handle it?



  1. I think that was shocking

Speak Your Mind